Gall bladders: A first world whinge

It’s been nearly 2 weeks now (12days but who’s counting) since I discovered I have gall stones.

Gall bladders don’t get much attention — until you have gall stones. I soon discovered I didn’t know much about them, and why it doesn’t really matter if you don’t have one. Sort of like your appendix or your tonsils, that might have had a job millions of years ago. I’ve still got both of those. Anyway, it’s nice to know something about what’s being ripped out. Yes, there will be a gall-bladder-ectomy. It can’t come soon enough.

So, here’s the deal. The gall bladder is a small, pear-shaped organ tucked under the liver on the right side of the abdomen. Its job is not to make bile. The liver does that. The gall bladder stores bile between meals, concentrates it, then releases it when food, especially fatty food, reaches the small intestine. Bile acts a bit like detergent, breaking fat into smaller droplets so the body can digest it and absorb nutrients properly. [1]

Most of the time, the gall bladder quietly gets on with the job and nobody thinks about it. Typical organ behaviour, no applause required. But if bile thickens or its ingredients get out of balance, solid lumps called gallstones can form. These can block the ducts that carry bile, which may cause pain, nausea, inflammation, or infection. If the gall bladder has to be removed, bile still flows from the liver into the small intestine, but it no longer has that handy storage tank, which is why some people need to be careful with fatty meals afterwards.

The thing is, before my gall bladder is removed I have to calm it down from its current rebellious teenager stage – painful eruptions, usually at night. To do that, I have to ‘live’ on a very low fat diet. Lots of fruit and veg (no avocado or olives). Skinless chicken breast, fish, shellfish. Then we get to the ‘good’ bit. No cheese, butter, bacon, salami, egg yolks (sorry, not doing that), pork, lean red meat with all the fat trimmed off before cooking. No salad dressing and no frying anything. Did I mention no cheese?

During a normal week breakfast for me is a couple of tablespoons of Greek yoghurt, berries, and muesli with a squirt of honey. I can substitute low fat yoghurt. But it’s horrible stuff. On the weekend we treat ourselves. Saturday it’s an egg and bacon sarny with cheese and tomato sauce. I tried a thin slice of ham with a whole egg between 2 bits of toast, and a squirt of tomato sauce. Nope. Sunday it’s poached egg on smoked salmon with hollandaise. I have to tell you, poached egg and smoked salmon without the hollandaise is dead ordinary.

A stir ‘fry’ poached in stock isn’t the same as a proper stir fry. I’m not supposed to use olive oil, which is a staple at our house. And Caesar salad, one of our favourites, is crossed out, too. No fast food at all, of course. Not that we eat much of that, anyway. Oven fried chips and the occasional pizza is about our limit.

On the bright side, though, Peter found a great minestrone recipe. It was supposed to have bacon, but we used ham instead. It was delicious with a crusty bread roll, even without the butter.

Sigh. At least I’m relatively pain-free. A couple of paracetamol is enough. So far. I see the surgeon on 11 June. Fingers crossed the op will be the next day. I can hope, can’t I?

And yes, you’re right this is absolutely a first world whinge, and I should get over myself.

As you know, these blog posts are basically essays, commenting on life and things. But I’m an author. I write the sort of books I like to read. If you or somebody you know likes the kind of stories that take you away in a spaceship on adventures packed with action and where love finds a way, you might enjoy The Iron Admiral: Conspiracy. You can have it for free.